it's already 2009 in australia.

2008, quite the year. in my opinion 2007 was much crazier and surprising, but 2008 has been the year of redemption in my opinion. all the 2007 craziness got a break this year, but i'm not doubting that 2009 will ten times as crazy.

highlights of 08? there have been a few good, or great parties. i feel like overall, it's been the year of transition from being pretty popular at school to being a complete nobody, but also from going from nobody to popular outside of new west. i'm happy with that.

there have been some big weddings, some substantial deaths in my life, some surprisingly character changes in friends, i met alot of people in 08 that i think i'll be friends with for the rest of my life.

what i'm expecting in 2009? i expect to graduate highschool, complete Bye Bye Birdie, work alot in the summer, go to Montreal and then Alberta. I expect some good decisions and bad decisions and i don't think i'm ready to die on January 20th, which apparently is the date for my demise. I'm going to New York in january and Mexico in May. Then Australia sometime in the winter of 08. I expect to get a tattoo, and to get a really awesome job. It's all coming up and i can't wait to see it unfold.

2008 has been a slice, 2009 will be the year of years, i hope.

thanks 2008 parkerlyfe fanbase.

ISLANDLyfe

i'm on the island of vancouver. kinda wish i was in the city but whatever that's cool.
why am i here you ask? i've got a few friends named luke, seychelle and jayme which i am visiting and watching outrageous amounts of movies and eating insane quantities of fudge brownies and pumpkin pie. wow, i've really let myself go. i've decided i'll let myself really go for a few months and blame it on bye bye birdie. my role required such dedication that i NEEDED to gain 100 pounds. i had no choice. call me jared leto.
i bought the new GQ magazine where jennifer aniston is completely nude other than a tie. i feel awkward looking at nude pictures of a 40 year old woman...but then again, she's kinda hot. did i mention i've seen jennifer aniston in the flesh at my neighbours house? yes, in new west. i was walking home from school one day and all of a sudden jennifer aniston is there i thought the pens i was chewing all day at school might have been laced with acid but nope it was actually her. she was filming a movie call Travelling which will probably fly right to DVD.
speaking of jennifer and older woman, i saw the curious case of benjamin button last night and i did feel really awkward watching an old man fall in love with a 10 year old and then an old woman kiss a baby boy. passionatly. but overall, it was a good movie. see it.

my plans for a movie called Retards In Love which features a female down syndrome protagonist who falls in love with another boy with downs and follows their love story have been ruined now that i have been informed of another movie called The Other Sister. fuck!
oh well, i'll find another way to make millions.

2008 is nearing it's completion and that means new years eve is coming up. i better do something good this time. new years 08 i just sat in my house with brynne and looked at the wall. so much fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

today, kudos to crystal because it's her bday and she's an adult now. now, we can rent all the porn we've ever desired. yes!

also, my parents are really hating on me cause i told them that i've decided to postpone college for a while, so i can work fulltime and save money and have fun. who needs a full time career at 18? maybe you, but not me. i've been having lots of nightmares the past while a bout getting a stable career and being married and having kids by 20. it's not the life i want. ahhh!

-p lyfe

Urban Outfitters, I hardly knew you.

So this is it. Goodbye Urban Outfitters. Well, more like "see you later".

I get very nostalgic when I think about my nine fun filled months working downtown at Urban Outfitters. I never knew I would experience what I did there. I can see myself now begging my rents to let me at least apply downtown. I didn't want to work at Metrotown, so I made sure they we're cool with it. Dad wasn't cool with it, but I didn't think I'd get the job. I wanted to stand out so I'm sure you all know I made sure of that with my infamous kiss-ass resume with pieces of the Urban Outfitters bag glued on to it, a picture of myself and more self-selling than I've ever read. When I find it, I'll post it on here. It's pretty good.

Skip to my first interview with Kyle and Melissa, along with Jill and the other chick who had no fucking clue what she was talking about.

Skip to taking that test sweating my palms off trying to answer correctly.

First shift with Kat, whatever happened to her and getting trained by Catherine.

The rest is history. Through nine months at a retail store, who knew I would make life long friends, experience belly laughs, tears in the office, dealing with shoplifters, sweating my ass off finding shoe sizes, wanting to kill myself with the RF gun, and get my heart teased and broken before my eyes. It's all part of the retail world downtown. And I wouldn't change any of it, except for maybe the incident on Wednesday. (See my post before this)

-Tiu-Wen, you're the coolest boss. I hope you go on to make millions and become the most successful business woman. The female Donald Trump.

-Walter, i'm no longer scared of you. I'm happy I have the title of your favorite employee. When i come back i'll make you and Jean-Pierre proud.

-Troy, grandpa, don't hate your grandson. We're family. I'll come by sometime with a chocolate covered baby and we'll talk about our lives.

-Michelle, you big gypsy, thanks for being the best manager ever. I hope you find a husband and i better be invited to your wedding.

-Marshall, my uncle, thanks for setting me straight by telling me i was a "not all there". It was a good kick in the ass to do a better job. I hope you're life turns around by the time I'm back.

-Melissa, you hired me, what else could i thank you for. I'll bring you an oat fudge bar complimentary of the ginger baldness at Starbucks one of these days.

-Calvin, don't really know you all that well, but it's been good.

-Babyliss, thanks for the cookies. I hope you find yourself a nice jewish clubbing partner.

-Galgore, hey, see you at school.

-Lincole, you will be greatly missed. But don't worry i'll pick you up every friday night to skytrain with you and hear the hot goss with mcflurries.

-Jillionaire, we get hired together, we die together.

-Katie, let's talk on facebook chat. We're good at that.

-Jeff, i hope you know you owe me for that polar bear cookie. jokes.

-Alex, PG represent!

-Alyssa and Nick, have a good trip back to Tdot. Maybe i'll see you some day.

-Chris Ferroux, you are a very good runner. You actually run. That's good.

-Jessica, i'm happy you finally got some sleep now that you're not at the restaurant.

-Lou mama, you're a good guy. That's all i can say.

-Mika, i'm all full up on your love.

-Molly, i'll never forget you drinking from the water cooler on the ground. Classy.

-Heather Ferroux, stick around. Shoes needs your skills.

-Kari Underwood, good times on the skytrain. Sorta. See you around!

-Louise, i'll definitely see you in the VIP section at Stone Temps with your boyfriend Rick Ross. You're my savior when it comes to cash.

-Mijung, don't miss me too much. I know it makes your day when i'm there. Not.

-Big Time Tones!, when i get back you better be nominated for an oscar. Or else. HAIRSPRAY4EVER.

-Calla, even though you think i don't eat and give me the evil eye, you know you're one of my faves. Delta represent!

-Meg, OC Scene Face-off. That's all i can say. Carmeg4ever.

-Catherine, you read the book with me on my first day, and i will miss you.

-Donny, my father, find me a good mother. You are my main man at this store. Forrealz.

-Jaderade, come see me in my play for sure. I'm happy I can fulfill your Zac Efron fantasties by just walking around you.

-Carson, you're a creep. But it's ok.

-Brettney Spears, i don't blame you anymore. Friends.

-Tammy and Shannon, keep doing what you're doing. The store always looks freakin amazing.

-Aaron Morten, meow.

-Roy, i never see you because you work mornings, but that's ok. Good working with you.

-Jeanette, i guess i'll pay for our baby. But while i don't have a job now you'll have to do it. Oh well.

-Bronagh (Bona), DICK TO FITS, I love you. You're the Vanessa to my Zac hahaha. See you on webcam.

-Ashleigh, i'll see you in vancouver around sometime. I usually do :P

-Maiko, when i'm 19 i'll for sure come see you dance at the clubz.

EVERYONE ELSE! I never got to really know you, but i'll miss you. You've all been a great part of my Urban Experience.

Oh, and yeah, Jen Kenny. i have to much to say to you. hopefully you're allowed to talk to me still, but thanks for making me stick around instead of quitting after 2 months. After all, you're kinda the reason. but everyone knows that.

Anyways, it's been a killer time. Thanks for making it what it was. I'll see you in April if you still work there. Please stick around and come see me in Bye Bye Birdie! March 26, 27, 28!

I know you will all miss my pouty face and constant growling.

Parkerlyfe, out.

a christmas eve story: parkerlyfe edition.

happy holiday's parkerlyvers.

i hope you all get amazing gifts and get fat off turkey that you are so satisfied and drink lots of cocoa, wear christmas sweaters and carol to your wits end. i, unfortunatley, will be doing none of the above. except maybe for the get fat off turkey part, but you know that happens everyweek.

today was christmas eve. it was a 50/50 good/bad day. here's how it all went down gang:

i woke up pretty early deciding that i wanted to look good for work and be there on time, actually with so much time to spare that i could get a coffee, well actually an earl grey tea misto, from starbucks. the snow however had different plans. my dad thought it would be hip to drive me to the closest station to his work, Holdem, a station i've never even heard of since i'm always on the otherside with royal oak and shiz. anyways, the snow made sure i was 45 minutes late and very cold with the delays at the stations. BOO! not happy at all. so i stumbled into work wet and upset and feeling guilty for being so late. but here's where the day flips to good. i had a good day at work! i worked out cash, met nice last minute xmas shoppers, got that tea misto on my break and the works! weooo! good. the day actually went by very fast, considering it was a usually long 9-5 thinger. 

ok, flip back to bad. extremely bad. nightmarishly bad.

so brynne comes in a meets me at work at 5 when i got off after i broke even with cash (thats good). since it's my last real day with 40 percent discount, i thought it would be good to by some stuff, try some stuff on blah blah blah blah. brynne did too considering she's my discount getter. anyways, at cash wrap, she thought it would be funny to force me to buy nail polish for her, since she bought me coffee the other day. i told her no even though i would buy it for her (4$, whatevs) but she put it in my pocket thinking i knew it was there. so when i get to cash, i grabbed another nail polish for her and wrung it up and she thought it was the one in my pocket. not so much. so tiu-wen comes and checks me out at the door and i have no idea what's about to happen when i'm patting my pockets and holy shit there is nail polish in there.

what a nightmare. 

i know she understands but still, i wanted to end my time at urbz on a good note. now it's going to be lurking in everyones minds the whole "what if he was trying to pull a fast one". i feel like shit. so does brynne. fuck i still feel sick.

anyways so i left wanting to throw up all over the sidewalk but then i went to crystals and she made a nice dinner where me her and brynne ate a loaf of bread and ben and jerrys, listened to much dance 2000 and drank cheap wine. then, we went hope and took a blow up boat down a hill in new west and that was fun. 

and here i am. you're all waiting for santa to drop down your chimney. i'm blogging on parkerlyfe. i bit the inside of my tongue and i'm definitely going to have a canker and my feet are very dry. i think the winter does it to them.

so yeah. everyone have a good time celebrating christmas.  

i was thinking...

i wonder if i really will die young and it will be a mysterious death, then people will take PARKERLYFE the blog and publish it into a best seller.

my fingers are too cold to type

it's very difficult to type today. this post will be short. i decide school is not worth my time on the last day before holidays. 

today i got really mad because when i woke up and turned out my TV much music was just playing America's Best Dance Crew and i effing hate that show. turns out it's marathon day for that ballsack of a show. 

screw Mario Lopez.

and there were no waffles and before i went to bed i was really excited to wake up and eat my golden crisp waffles. errrhg.

Rachel will be arriving soon. :D :D :D :D :D i hope that drive isn't really shittay because it's blizzarding in BC right now. i'm crossing my fingers and toes, but i can't feel them so it makes no difference. 

okay.

just bitter. not bittersweet.

hey fans

it's about time school come to an end. seriously. i've had enough of doing nothing in marketing class and being ready to shoot myself in accounting cause i'm so bored. a nice break would be just what the doctor ordered. that and world peace.

it's fucking cold out, as you all know. i'm just reminding you if you are in doors being warm. going outside makes me really sad. 

rachel is coming to vancouver! i know! holy holy holy! she gets here tomorrow but i wont see her i have to work, but i can't wait to spend all this time with her it's gunna be so good. i've got to think of some great vancouver things to do with her. she's from prince george, they don't have a ton of the things we do. if you were not from the city, what would you wanna do? i dunno.

dear people that i go to school with. you all suck. i hate you all so much and never want to be any of your friends. you're all exactly the same and have no speck of uniqueness about any of you. you think you rule because you go fucking eachother and getting STD's which is so fun and drinking beers and eachothers houses. i sound like a jealous bitch and you can all call me it if you want. who gives a fuck. 

i'd rather not hang out in the gay suburbs of new west and get a real life in vancouver and hang out with older people who aren't caught up in their own terrible american eagle wearing lives.

you all need a reality check. kay. sorry i'm just really bitter against some people. 

on the other hand, people i work with are good. i'm really gunna miss you all when i'm gone. *sigh* i don't want to leave. :( 

i'm pissed off because whenever i eat something, acne just wants to happen. screw acne!

i went to the gym today to work on my summer physique. you can never start to early. and don't forget it is hot-tub season all you fatty cakes who think you can stuff your faces with christmas spirit aka ham and cake. keep in mind the hot-tub. 

my head hurts from all the hate going on in this post. i'm gunna lighten things up abit.

2009 is coming right around the corner and i've got to think of some sweet resolutions. judging by this post, maybe i should learn to forgive and stop holding grudges. that's a good one. i'm gunna learn how to play the piano again. 

2 resolutions are planned. only 148 more to go till i'm normal. 

my new years resolution should just be simple: change everything.