the shortest trip in the world

i went to kelowna for 16 hours today. 5 of which i was sleeping. that is officially my record for shortest trip evs. 

though it was short, it was lots of fun. i'm surprised! i wasn't it expecting to be all that fun but it really was. hopefully i get pics up soon or whatevs. 

it was a Grease themed grad party. grease reminds me of when i had a face full of acne and grease dripping onto my shirt, so i decided to take a Hairspray approach to the party just to avoid bad memories. also, i had to live up to my apparent zefron resemblance. not really.

maxi decided it would be a good idea to break out of his cage which is my parents bedroom and roam around the construction zone. this meant him prancing around in wet cement, which crusted to his feet within the hour. now he regrets breaking out. my mom is picking out the cement blocks from his paws i feel kinda bad. but he's alright, if you should no. no one died! 

and today is seth's bachelor thing. i'm going into a forest to hunt my friends with air-soft guns so expect alot of complaining in tomorrows post cause i can tell i'm gunna get shot right in the eye, or in the back of the throat. urhhhhhhhh.

i go back to school in one month exactly today. HISSSSS

M.I.A.

yes. i'm sorry i've been missing in action the past few days. all my millions of devoted fans (i guess theres actually only about 8) i'm sorry to let you down. there are reasons! 

of course, the house is being renovated. i am becoming less and less happy about this. i kinda liked it before when it was ugly and outdated. this weeks problem was the tiling which just so happened to be in the hallways leading to my computer. the tiler, one of the 4295872 workers in my house drilling and smashing at 8 am and then happily greeting me as i walk down the stairs in my pajamas with sleep crust oozing out my eye, was not happy that i was trying to get to the computer. he's all like "i'm sure you can go a few days without your computer." 

....

i tried to think of ways to get to it. pole vaulting perhaps? using my kangaroo shoes to launch across my hall into the room? both had really bad possible outcomes. i had to endure. 

NORMALLY i would have just been happy checking using my cell phone to check facebook and all that shit i do on the computer, but thanks to my father i no longer have internet on my phone. well actually, i guess it's thanks to me and my 430$ internet charge for june alone. what i like to be up to date even on the skytrain! anyways, excuses aside. the tile has set. yippie ki yay. i'm back. the blogs back. you're happy. i'm happy. whatever.

so for the past few days i've just been you know, doing what i usually do. i should be in New York City right now, but just like the reason for all bad things it's the kitchens fault. FUCK THE KITCHEN! instead, i'm here in vancouver. here's a brief low down of what i've missed blogging about since my last post.

friday, ya i went to playland. woo..

saturday, i wasted my whole day waiting for the goddamn fireworks, they were good, i'm sure you all saw them no need to explain shit, walked like a pilgrim though davie st. after that and ate a classy din denny's with all the social regects and high school drug addicts that are now 40 and work at denny's. hopefully that's me one day. 

sunday, worked. i folded.

monday, worked. reunited with crystal and boozed. i'm becoming more of a low life everyday.

tuesday, worked. actually, i didn't just work i worked my tits off and i'm pretty effing proud of myself. 

wednesday was the day off and i saw step brothers which is actually hilarious considering i usually hate will ferrell. go see it! it's not as good as batman though. obviously.

today i worked a short shift and ate steak.

tomorrow, i discovered i'm going to kelowna. expect more posts about my day adventure to the land of the people who think i work at Urban Planet and where seeing movies is like clubbing.

WAHOO!

thanks for reading this whole mess, i'm surprised if you even made it to here. this was a long post. too long. sorry for the big wait! 

negativity free

looking back at the last week of posts, i'm kind of a downer. time to switch it up! 

i'm going to write a TV show all about Urban Outfitters. one day it's gunna be huge! even as good as the OC. 

just think of all the interesting character possibilities. 

i was also thinking the other day about blogs and really how restricted they are. there are so many things that i would love to just blog away about, but it's hard to because you never know he's going to stumble across your page, especially when it's just flat out on the internet. i dont want any problemos. 

playland was also alot of fun, i went on the revelation and drop zone one after the other and felt proud of myself for a) actually doing it and b) not soiling my pants.

taking it to the next level.

New and improved layout.

Same whiny Parker.

this is not an exageration

worst experience ever coming home from work today. after my short 7-12 shift i got a crepe which after eating was lodged in my whatever that tube that your food goes down in. this was bad i thought i might die. k but this is not the point. while i was pondering how single and alone i really am, which just so happens to be VERY single and mostly alone, things got worse when my eyes almost started bleeding at the sight of the two most awkwardly in love people sucking face on the skytrain right across from me. it was not beautiful. i tried to ignore it but the image is still burned into my head. here's a mental image that i'll share with you. 

the man. probably 100 pounds. pale and hairy. beautiful yellow teeth. definitely a comic fan or a computer tech. probably has a collection of magic cards. 

the woman, equilly thin, chinese, i'm assuming spoke no english and probably just imigrated from asia. 

anyways, now that you know what i'm talking about, picture those 2 intensely making out, and i mean i saw that slobber and the white crusties on their tongues. this happened for a while until they got bored of just plain old making out and moved on to bigger more exciting things, like (i'm not even joking) turning her tna hoodie backwards and putting the hood over her face and making out with that between them. i don't see how this pleasured either of them...but i do know that when they were done there was a classy slobber mark on the back of her hood which i couldn't help but laugh at. they nuzzled noses, made kissy noises and even just licked eachothers tongues for fun until they got off at Royal Oak thank god i almost had to get out of the train and wait for the next train for me to jump in front of. i hope you have the mental image seared into your brain forever.

on happier news, i may actually get to go to playland tomorrow! yyay! i also did pretty good on cash despite sweating our half my body weight in nervousness. 

why so serious?

batman ruled. everything about it ruled. 

the 2.5 hour wait did not, however. we sat on the floor at colossus langley for evs and didn't even make friends with people in line. the guy behind us was some creepy 50 year old man by himself with a batman shirt on. i could have made friends with him but then i figured i best just leave him alone, just as he came. the lineup crew consisted of spencer and his latina/chinese girlfriend lindsay, another couple named taylor and leah, and kolaiah with her new boyfriend billy. and me. tout seul. all alone. yes, i was the only single one there, and the only one feeling extremely awkward. i will not talk about how awkward it was, but feel free to ask. theres more to the story.

i ate popcorn chicken which is a sign my 50 pounds loss goal to match the emo teens is not going well. i have, however, decided maybe i'll start chain smoking 10 packs a day and soon lose my entire appetite and plumet into a baffling 100 pounds. YES! 

i also lost my wallet, i think it's with lindsay. i was planning on buying things today before work but that idea was shot down when i discovered my wallet was no where to be found. now, i'm home after my 3.5 hour shift which wasn't all that bad. my socialite parents have company over, company which i dont like. well i like the couple. they used to be models which i like to have in my home. the kids, not cool, not even models. back in the day, it just so happened they snuck into my large bathroom and hid while i had a shower. sooo creepy. even though they are young...it's creepy and they know it! you never even know, they could have taken pics and leaked them onto the net like vanessa hudgens! damn kids. oh well if that happened at least i'd have a better fame shot. all you need is a boost!

the future

i thought about putting miracle grow in my hair today, or watering it with plant food. i wonder what that would do...has anyone ever tried that? 

i'm also trying online banking because i really don't even know how much i got paid. too bad i'm a failure at everything...including online banking.

i'm really tired of all my clothes. i'm going to use all the money i have (once i found out how much i actually have from online banking) and use it on new clothes. there is a good idea, even though i need so many other things like say a car. hmm. 

also, my mom asked me today why i never talk to her and i told her because i have nothing to say to her, since everything i say is mean or wrong apparently. then she told me that i should move out for a couple of weeks so i can appreciate home. i'm thinking about it. just when and where is all i have to know. 

i have nothing else to say. i don't have much to say these days actually. maybe because i've decided not to care about anything at all. i've given up on most things.