it's already 2009 in australia.

2008, quite the year. in my opinion 2007 was much crazier and surprising, but 2008 has been the year of redemption in my opinion. all the 2007 craziness got a break this year, but i'm not doubting that 2009 will ten times as crazy.

highlights of 08? there have been a few good, or great parties. i feel like overall, it's been the year of transition from being pretty popular at school to being a complete nobody, but also from going from nobody to popular outside of new west. i'm happy with that.

there have been some big weddings, some substantial deaths in my life, some surprisingly character changes in friends, i met alot of people in 08 that i think i'll be friends with for the rest of my life.

what i'm expecting in 2009? i expect to graduate highschool, complete Bye Bye Birdie, work alot in the summer, go to Montreal and then Alberta. I expect some good decisions and bad decisions and i don't think i'm ready to die on January 20th, which apparently is the date for my demise. I'm going to New York in january and Mexico in May. Then Australia sometime in the winter of 08. I expect to get a tattoo, and to get a really awesome job. It's all coming up and i can't wait to see it unfold.

2008 has been a slice, 2009 will be the year of years, i hope.

thanks 2008 parkerlyfe fanbase.

ISLANDLyfe

i'm on the island of vancouver. kinda wish i was in the city but whatever that's cool.
why am i here you ask? i've got a few friends named luke, seychelle and jayme which i am visiting and watching outrageous amounts of movies and eating insane quantities of fudge brownies and pumpkin pie. wow, i've really let myself go. i've decided i'll let myself really go for a few months and blame it on bye bye birdie. my role required such dedication that i NEEDED to gain 100 pounds. i had no choice. call me jared leto.
i bought the new GQ magazine where jennifer aniston is completely nude other than a tie. i feel awkward looking at nude pictures of a 40 year old woman...but then again, she's kinda hot. did i mention i've seen jennifer aniston in the flesh at my neighbours house? yes, in new west. i was walking home from school one day and all of a sudden jennifer aniston is there i thought the pens i was chewing all day at school might have been laced with acid but nope it was actually her. she was filming a movie call Travelling which will probably fly right to DVD.
speaking of jennifer and older woman, i saw the curious case of benjamin button last night and i did feel really awkward watching an old man fall in love with a 10 year old and then an old woman kiss a baby boy. passionatly. but overall, it was a good movie. see it.

my plans for a movie called Retards In Love which features a female down syndrome protagonist who falls in love with another boy with downs and follows their love story have been ruined now that i have been informed of another movie called The Other Sister. fuck!
oh well, i'll find another way to make millions.

2008 is nearing it's completion and that means new years eve is coming up. i better do something good this time. new years 08 i just sat in my house with brynne and looked at the wall. so much fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

today, kudos to crystal because it's her bday and she's an adult now. now, we can rent all the porn we've ever desired. yes!

also, my parents are really hating on me cause i told them that i've decided to postpone college for a while, so i can work fulltime and save money and have fun. who needs a full time career at 18? maybe you, but not me. i've been having lots of nightmares the past while a bout getting a stable career and being married and having kids by 20. it's not the life i want. ahhh!

-p lyfe

Urban Outfitters, I hardly knew you.

So this is it. Goodbye Urban Outfitters. Well, more like "see you later".

I get very nostalgic when I think about my nine fun filled months working downtown at Urban Outfitters. I never knew I would experience what I did there. I can see myself now begging my rents to let me at least apply downtown. I didn't want to work at Metrotown, so I made sure they we're cool with it. Dad wasn't cool with it, but I didn't think I'd get the job. I wanted to stand out so I'm sure you all know I made sure of that with my infamous kiss-ass resume with pieces of the Urban Outfitters bag glued on to it, a picture of myself and more self-selling than I've ever read. When I find it, I'll post it on here. It's pretty good.

Skip to my first interview with Kyle and Melissa, along with Jill and the other chick who had no fucking clue what she was talking about.

Skip to taking that test sweating my palms off trying to answer correctly.

First shift with Kat, whatever happened to her and getting trained by Catherine.

The rest is history. Through nine months at a retail store, who knew I would make life long friends, experience belly laughs, tears in the office, dealing with shoplifters, sweating my ass off finding shoe sizes, wanting to kill myself with the RF gun, and get my heart teased and broken before my eyes. It's all part of the retail world downtown. And I wouldn't change any of it, except for maybe the incident on Wednesday. (See my post before this)

-Tiu-Wen, you're the coolest boss. I hope you go on to make millions and become the most successful business woman. The female Donald Trump.

-Walter, i'm no longer scared of you. I'm happy I have the title of your favorite employee. When i come back i'll make you and Jean-Pierre proud.

-Troy, grandpa, don't hate your grandson. We're family. I'll come by sometime with a chocolate covered baby and we'll talk about our lives.

-Michelle, you big gypsy, thanks for being the best manager ever. I hope you find a husband and i better be invited to your wedding.

-Marshall, my uncle, thanks for setting me straight by telling me i was a "not all there". It was a good kick in the ass to do a better job. I hope you're life turns around by the time I'm back.

-Melissa, you hired me, what else could i thank you for. I'll bring you an oat fudge bar complimentary of the ginger baldness at Starbucks one of these days.

-Calvin, don't really know you all that well, but it's been good.

-Babyliss, thanks for the cookies. I hope you find yourself a nice jewish clubbing partner.

-Galgore, hey, see you at school.

-Lincole, you will be greatly missed. But don't worry i'll pick you up every friday night to skytrain with you and hear the hot goss with mcflurries.

-Jillionaire, we get hired together, we die together.

-Katie, let's talk on facebook chat. We're good at that.

-Jeff, i hope you know you owe me for that polar bear cookie. jokes.

-Alex, PG represent!

-Alyssa and Nick, have a good trip back to Tdot. Maybe i'll see you some day.

-Chris Ferroux, you are a very good runner. You actually run. That's good.

-Jessica, i'm happy you finally got some sleep now that you're not at the restaurant.

-Lou mama, you're a good guy. That's all i can say.

-Mika, i'm all full up on your love.

-Molly, i'll never forget you drinking from the water cooler on the ground. Classy.

-Heather Ferroux, stick around. Shoes needs your skills.

-Kari Underwood, good times on the skytrain. Sorta. See you around!

-Louise, i'll definitely see you in the VIP section at Stone Temps with your boyfriend Rick Ross. You're my savior when it comes to cash.

-Mijung, don't miss me too much. I know it makes your day when i'm there. Not.

-Big Time Tones!, when i get back you better be nominated for an oscar. Or else. HAIRSPRAY4EVER.

-Calla, even though you think i don't eat and give me the evil eye, you know you're one of my faves. Delta represent!

-Meg, OC Scene Face-off. That's all i can say. Carmeg4ever.

-Catherine, you read the book with me on my first day, and i will miss you.

-Donny, my father, find me a good mother. You are my main man at this store. Forrealz.

-Jaderade, come see me in my play for sure. I'm happy I can fulfill your Zac Efron fantasties by just walking around you.

-Carson, you're a creep. But it's ok.

-Brettney Spears, i don't blame you anymore. Friends.

-Tammy and Shannon, keep doing what you're doing. The store always looks freakin amazing.

-Aaron Morten, meow.

-Roy, i never see you because you work mornings, but that's ok. Good working with you.

-Jeanette, i guess i'll pay for our baby. But while i don't have a job now you'll have to do it. Oh well.

-Bronagh (Bona), DICK TO FITS, I love you. You're the Vanessa to my Zac hahaha. See you on webcam.

-Ashleigh, i'll see you in vancouver around sometime. I usually do :P

-Maiko, when i'm 19 i'll for sure come see you dance at the clubz.

EVERYONE ELSE! I never got to really know you, but i'll miss you. You've all been a great part of my Urban Experience.

Oh, and yeah, Jen Kenny. i have to much to say to you. hopefully you're allowed to talk to me still, but thanks for making me stick around instead of quitting after 2 months. After all, you're kinda the reason. but everyone knows that.

Anyways, it's been a killer time. Thanks for making it what it was. I'll see you in April if you still work there. Please stick around and come see me in Bye Bye Birdie! March 26, 27, 28!

I know you will all miss my pouty face and constant growling.

Parkerlyfe, out.

a christmas eve story: parkerlyfe edition.

happy holiday's parkerlyvers.

i hope you all get amazing gifts and get fat off turkey that you are so satisfied and drink lots of cocoa, wear christmas sweaters and carol to your wits end. i, unfortunatley, will be doing none of the above. except maybe for the get fat off turkey part, but you know that happens everyweek.

today was christmas eve. it was a 50/50 good/bad day. here's how it all went down gang:

i woke up pretty early deciding that i wanted to look good for work and be there on time, actually with so much time to spare that i could get a coffee, well actually an earl grey tea misto, from starbucks. the snow however had different plans. my dad thought it would be hip to drive me to the closest station to his work, Holdem, a station i've never even heard of since i'm always on the otherside with royal oak and shiz. anyways, the snow made sure i was 45 minutes late and very cold with the delays at the stations. BOO! not happy at all. so i stumbled into work wet and upset and feeling guilty for being so late. but here's where the day flips to good. i had a good day at work! i worked out cash, met nice last minute xmas shoppers, got that tea misto on my break and the works! weooo! good. the day actually went by very fast, considering it was a usually long 9-5 thinger. 

ok, flip back to bad. extremely bad. nightmarishly bad.

so brynne comes in a meets me at work at 5 when i got off after i broke even with cash (thats good). since it's my last real day with 40 percent discount, i thought it would be good to by some stuff, try some stuff on blah blah blah blah. brynne did too considering she's my discount getter. anyways, at cash wrap, she thought it would be funny to force me to buy nail polish for her, since she bought me coffee the other day. i told her no even though i would buy it for her (4$, whatevs) but she put it in my pocket thinking i knew it was there. so when i get to cash, i grabbed another nail polish for her and wrung it up and she thought it was the one in my pocket. not so much. so tiu-wen comes and checks me out at the door and i have no idea what's about to happen when i'm patting my pockets and holy shit there is nail polish in there.

what a nightmare. 

i know she understands but still, i wanted to end my time at urbz on a good note. now it's going to be lurking in everyones minds the whole "what if he was trying to pull a fast one". i feel like shit. so does brynne. fuck i still feel sick.

anyways so i left wanting to throw up all over the sidewalk but then i went to crystals and she made a nice dinner where me her and brynne ate a loaf of bread and ben and jerrys, listened to much dance 2000 and drank cheap wine. then, we went hope and took a blow up boat down a hill in new west and that was fun. 

and here i am. you're all waiting for santa to drop down your chimney. i'm blogging on parkerlyfe. i bit the inside of my tongue and i'm definitely going to have a canker and my feet are very dry. i think the winter does it to them.

so yeah. everyone have a good time celebrating christmas.  

i was thinking...

i wonder if i really will die young and it will be a mysterious death, then people will take PARKERLYFE the blog and publish it into a best seller.

my fingers are too cold to type

it's very difficult to type today. this post will be short. i decide school is not worth my time on the last day before holidays. 

today i got really mad because when i woke up and turned out my TV much music was just playing America's Best Dance Crew and i effing hate that show. turns out it's marathon day for that ballsack of a show. 

screw Mario Lopez.

and there were no waffles and before i went to bed i was really excited to wake up and eat my golden crisp waffles. errrhg.

Rachel will be arriving soon. :D :D :D :D :D i hope that drive isn't really shittay because it's blizzarding in BC right now. i'm crossing my fingers and toes, but i can't feel them so it makes no difference. 

okay.

just bitter. not bittersweet.

hey fans

it's about time school come to an end. seriously. i've had enough of doing nothing in marketing class and being ready to shoot myself in accounting cause i'm so bored. a nice break would be just what the doctor ordered. that and world peace.

it's fucking cold out, as you all know. i'm just reminding you if you are in doors being warm. going outside makes me really sad. 

rachel is coming to vancouver! i know! holy holy holy! she gets here tomorrow but i wont see her i have to work, but i can't wait to spend all this time with her it's gunna be so good. i've got to think of some great vancouver things to do with her. she's from prince george, they don't have a ton of the things we do. if you were not from the city, what would you wanna do? i dunno.

dear people that i go to school with. you all suck. i hate you all so much and never want to be any of your friends. you're all exactly the same and have no speck of uniqueness about any of you. you think you rule because you go fucking eachother and getting STD's which is so fun and drinking beers and eachothers houses. i sound like a jealous bitch and you can all call me it if you want. who gives a fuck. 

i'd rather not hang out in the gay suburbs of new west and get a real life in vancouver and hang out with older people who aren't caught up in their own terrible american eagle wearing lives.

you all need a reality check. kay. sorry i'm just really bitter against some people. 

on the other hand, people i work with are good. i'm really gunna miss you all when i'm gone. *sigh* i don't want to leave. :( 

i'm pissed off because whenever i eat something, acne just wants to happen. screw acne!

i went to the gym today to work on my summer physique. you can never start to early. and don't forget it is hot-tub season all you fatty cakes who think you can stuff your faces with christmas spirit aka ham and cake. keep in mind the hot-tub. 

my head hurts from all the hate going on in this post. i'm gunna lighten things up abit.

2009 is coming right around the corner and i've got to think of some sweet resolutions. judging by this post, maybe i should learn to forgive and stop holding grudges. that's a good one. i'm gunna learn how to play the piano again. 

2 resolutions are planned. only 148 more to go till i'm normal. 

my new years resolution should just be simple: change everything. 

BREAKING NEWS:

the conclusion of parkerlyfe's hiatus

sorry about all the lame hiatus'. i SUCK at blogging apparently. 

i am so tired. i haven't fully recovered from saturday and i am still just a mess. 

this stupid parkerlyfe blog needs to get rid of britney and come up with a new layout. it's gunna happen soon.

hot tips: 

i'm moving out. 

if you haven't heard the latest parker goss, i'm done at urban outfitters on december 26th. the rumours are true. (not forever though)

i'm so happy i'm starting to make new friends, mainly because all my friends suck so bad. they really do.

i also realized this week i'm a really mean person, i'm not just mean i'm cruel. i need to fix that ASAP. i don't even realize i'm doing it...oh well. it's gunna happen. i can't wait for new years and all my resolutions. you know their gunna be good. 

KAY.

the golden post

this is my 50th post on parkerlyfe. time for champagne! do you really care?
i'm getting sick. damnit. my throat is so sore from the cold and the musical and i'm just a mess. i haven't been sick since march. this could be a sign that the end is near.

i'm really busy right now but i'll post alot more soon. tomorrow should be a big day!

meow

meow meow meow

hey all you big cats
it's 11:07, i got back from work some time ago, and i shouldn't be eating but instead i'm having cold eggrolls and i'm really enjoying them. i'll probably through them up after i drink a carton of milk.
so yesterday in parkerlyfe, i bought a really shiny suit which rules and makes me stand out from all the other fools that wear non-shiny suits. muahha. i really enjoy it and i wish i could wear it to work. no.
BUT i did get to wear my suit to Hairspray the musical, which i was with Lincole and Big Time Tones whose name has been officially changed to Sasha Fierce. :)
on my way home from last night's event, i took a cab ride with a nice arabic man with a beard whom i had a deep conversation with. he told me alot of sad stories about his life and how he has to little girls to feed at home and that's why he's working for the cab business. he used to be a truck driving but the economy kicked his ass. damn bush. i won't get into what he started to rave about next (bush), even though i could barely understand him through the muffle of his face muff. i just smiled.
at work today, i saw my friend from montreal which was really random but awesome considering i haven't seen her in quite a few months, possibly an entire year! EEEEK!!!!!!!!!! so yeah, good stuff.
i've managed to blast up my accounting mark and i might have managed to maneuver/cheat my way to a C+ from an I. congrats to me!
horrible news everyone. i think Molly the hobo died. if you have any doubts, you can even ask louise! why do i think this? the other day, i saw her enjoying some Hershey chocolate which i'm sure she saved up for for days. she was really enjoying it and i thought maybe it was the start of my good friend Molly to get her life back.
today, however, i find Molly face down on the street, not moving at 3:00 pm. her new sign which probably was going to say like "poor and homeless. sincerely molly." was only have done and i swear she was just lying there motionless. THEEEEEEEN louise and i were chatting and she said she saw her in the exact same position at 1:00 pm!

god please don't let it be true.

on my way back to the skytrain, Molly who always sits her in normal spot everyday, was no where to be found. oh molly, if you read parkerlyfe please comment and let me know you're alive and please start working at Urban. you get sweet discounts!

i have absolutely no idea when my rehearsals are this week i'm a big disorganized mess. whatever. who cares.
jen kenny is home!
JEN KENNY IS BACK! YES! :) she probably forgot all about me. oh well it happens. tears :(

i've decided in 2009 i'm going to have a signature look. what it will be i'm not sure. i'll come up with something.

good night earth. parkerlyfe must sleep.

less zac efron, more ian curtis.

sorry. i've been busy.

i can't even remember my last post. it probably sucked.

anyways, this one will too. my family got bad news when we found out one of our close family friends commit suicide on monday. he was really young and had a family. my parents are devestated and i'm pretty upset too. it's a weird feeling, especially after you just saw the person a few days before...sad. 

tonight i was supposed to see lady gaga but since my parents are jews they are grounding me for being cheeky and making me stay in. i really don't like my family when i comes to these things. it makes me so mad!!!! i'm going to move on in the summer, it's been decided. either i'll live on campus at BCIT or i'll just find some drug addict to room with because it'd probably be cheap rent.

today was awful. i'm sorry for all the complaining but you know i never get much of a break.

i was supposed to have rehearsal today till 5, but of course i waited around all D block (my spare) and even went through the hassle of switching my shift with alex for her 7-cl and last minute they tell me it's cancelled. :) so that was a waste. i got my report card. F. A. F. 

good job parker! keep succeeding! 

musical times have been in overdrive, with mon-fri (wait mon-THURS) rehearsals and i'm exhausted. it's so intense.

another thing, i'm really tired of obsessed twilight people. get a life, thats what i have to say to them. then again, i'm the one on the computer blogging. 

tomorrow i'm going to see hairspray tomorrow with toni and lincole! that's going to be fun. i actually can't wait :) :) :)

other than that, i've been really missing rachel these days. like the type of missing that makes me really sick. i'm really bad with the feeling where i can't do anything about a situation. it kills me. i'm dying.

my mom bought a new car today. it's a cadillac. sweet. maybe i'll drive it when i get my N, which will probably be uhm never.

i've realized what my problem is. i'm just a spoiled rich kid who just complains and has everything given to him. i've never gotten something i didn't want. i need a major reality check because really i'm still unhappy. 2009, my legacy will begin. i'm going to venture to the lowest of the lows, and pits, so that i will appreciate my life. less zac efron more ian curtis. 

parkerlyfe out. 

lyfe is a dream.

k i've been so busy the past few days it's ridiculous. BAD BAD BAD TIMES! musical here, work there, school, college application time and the works. i'm going to pop with stress and it's starting to become more and more noticable. i'm starting to look like shit everyday, i'm getting pimples, my pants are getting baggy. i'm just not myself! ugh. good thing i'm leaving vancouver and going to live parkerLYFE with rachel in prince george. i can't wait to get away. but when i get back i'm sure it's going to be helll all over the place again. i never really get a break.

today, i waited for the bus for an hour in the pouring rain. when it finally came after an hour, it drove past me. i was cold and wet. and mad.

my mom picked me up and drove me to the skytrain, which when i got on, was delayed. 

the reason i was getting on the skytrain was to go downtown and pick up my backpack i forgot at work, and therefore fell behind badly in school cause of. 

:)

bottom line is i can't wait till the day is when i'm passing all my classes, the musical is done and i move on with my lyfe. UGH. 

i'll be sure to update the blog more when i'm less full up with shit to do. hope you're all well. 

"you're the guy that get's left by his wife"

today i danced quite a bit. well, sort of. i did alot of cheesy broadway moves. 

i've decided parkerlyfe lacks something. i think it's videos. i'm going to start video taping segments of my life, it will ALLL be reality nothing will be rehearsed like the hills. it's straight up parkerLYVIN. yes, that's what i'll call it. YES!!!!!

other than that, i went to school 30 seconds after i woke up so i looked and felt wonderful today. good thing i didn't have to go to work. that would have sucked showing up in sweat pants and a hoodie. fired.

other than this exciting times, i ran N-Grub today again with just emma and we are the worst employees there so that was a bust. we pretty much served frozen hot-dogs saying they were cooked. next thing you know i'm going to be appologizing on TV like the maple leaf guy for all the deaths i've caused due to samonela hot dogs and un-boiled water. *sigh*

tonight there is a big meeting for the Bye Bye Birdie's cast PARENTS where they can get all the info they want. i could go if i wanted but really i don't. the rents will go and get my schedule which will help me alot in the upcoming decisions of when i'm available to work. ahhh.

so, today wasn't as exciting as yesterday. whatever. i'll end my post with 5 interesting facts about myself which you probably never knew.

1. i have no canine teeth, they were grinded to oblivion. 

2. i hate all things to do with pickles.

3. i was a jaundice baby and i had to lay in the sun my first 2 weeks of life to turn me from simpson to human.

4. my biggest fear is needles.

5. i bite my finger nails.

parkerlyfe, out

bigger things

hello friends.
today was nice. i guess. i ran the school store in the morning, we ran out of the pizza pops so some customers were not impressed. i'm going to be a sucessful entrepreneur one day...maybe. then, i had math, and yes i'm still doing all my homework! hurra! A+ is coming my way!!!!!!!!!! i only have 5 letter grades to go up! marketing, whatever. accounting, whatever. there that was my day at school. after school, i was pleasantly surprised to get a call from Naomi! one of my favorite people who moved home from edmonton, coincidently the same time that jen left. hm. was this some sort of a plan? anyways, i caught up with Naomi and ate fish and chips and just made me extremely happy because i've missed being around fun people. it's seems like the past few months i've met some dull people that have entered and left my life quickly and quietly. oh well, i can't keep up. cool!!!!!!!!
i talked to rachel on the phone today for a bit and discussed quite a few things and i feel really good about stuff. really good! i'm happy that this long distance relationship is lasting despite everyone booing it and throwing tomatoes at it. when life gives you tomatoes, i say fuck that tomatoes and bail! haha, forgetting sarah marshall joke. good movie.
not everything was good today. i'm a little bit aggravated by some decisions that my friends make, not to say i dont love em' any more or less, just aggravating. oh well, i can't make up my friends minds. even though if i could think of all the posibilites.

ahhh :)

but back to reality, it's not going to happen. shit, i need to go to the gym. i'm staring at my gut right now and sooner or later i'm going to be the un-movable man perched in his laz-e-boy. that's a beautiful image. i wonder if urban outfitters would let an excesively obese man work for them? they would probably demote me to backstock only.
the biggest news of the day was that my couchs came back from the warehouse after a long few months without anywhere to sit in my house but the floor. stupid renovations, can't wait for them to be OOOVER!
tomorrow is the first rehearsal for the musical. the first of many, i might add. attention all urban employees, my decision is made. i've decided i'm going to be working something out with management of urban and the director so i will not be quitting UO any time soon! my future is bright! i know, i know, keep clapping. things are getting bigger and better for the lyfe of parker mcmullin, and they are not stopping here. wooooo!
parkerlyfe, out.

maybe it stands for dinde, like turkey in french.

it's raining in new westminster, i don't know about wherever you live. 

at the moment, i'm planning my grad party. j-dubs like to throw huge grad parties for their kids because we can't have birthday, christmas, halloween, new years or any other parties, so the grad parties are usually pretty out of control. i want a theme. don't know what it's going to be yet. maybe gypsy grad.

today i get to work with jen kenny one last time before she abandons british columbia. that's sad.

my long weekend hasn't been too much of a waste, but hopefully today something outrageous will happen that i can talk about for the week. someone do something interesting or else i'll have too. 

ps, the kitchen will be done in one week! holy damn! ever since parkerlyfe was created, the kitchen has been a subject of bitching. finally, it may come to an end. 

wow.

i was just thinking.

i'm sitting here just frusterated as ever thinking about my future which i feel is an abyss. 

why is this year stressing me out so bad? i need serious help! what am i going to do in 9 months when i'm in the world and out of highschool...

time is ticking and parkerlyfe is not doing anything about it. oh no.

rusty trombone

today was a interesting day!!! not.

yesterday, when i was at earls, i thought about how much i hated the pad thai i was eating. it tasted like the liquid at the bottom of the recycling bin. but i ate it anyway when crystal brought to my attention the fact that African kids would die to drink that recycling water and that i should just be happy with the fact that i have pad thai. now i feel like a jerk. shit, they probably would even eat those drink coasters made of cardboard. maybe one day i'll do something with my lyfe and go to africa and help those babies, but then again i probably wont. that would be really cool though so everyone should go do that so i can live vicariously. 

it's sunday night tonight and guess what everyone i don't have school tomorrow and you probably don't either, because it's thanksgiving! joy! even though i don't celebrate thanksgiving, i am thankful for a few things. i guess i'm pretty lucky to have a nice house, i could live in a hut or a battered children's shelter. that would suck. i'm happy that i have food, but not really because all it does is fatten me up. but i'm thankful anyways i guess. what else am i thankful for, probably my phone and ipod, my cool friends, rachel because she's a babe, the fact that i have legs and arms because i've seen some people lately who can't be thankful for that. !. also, trident white, accutane, and i can't think of any thing else i'm boring myself with all this positivity. 

today i saw the guy with a hole in his head. i feel like he was making sure i noticed it...yeah i did.

rehearsals for the big time musical start and teen boy number five is preppin for his debut as a star. cool.

last night, i thought you should know, i basically washed my face and clothes with beer because i'm a genius. oh yeah, i'm thankful for my HUGE brain and unmatchable IQ. because really where would i be without all that knowledge. 

parkerlyfe readers, thanks for reading and being dedicated. i'm going to make shirts soon for you all. maybe. throw some ideas at me for a new layout and whatever. 

parkerlyfe was one of my grad writeup nicknames. hot damn.

today, i managed to accomplish my goal of getting my life on track by finishing all my math homework and doing well on the accounting test. hurra! maybe Sprott Shaw isn't my future...maybe Douglas now. anyways no one cares to read about school because it's super lame.

i got my grad photos today, after moshing through the crowd of grads to get them. at first it was kind of a line and then they pretty much just plopped all the pics on the ground and expected people to be patient, but that didn't happen. so after fighting my way through the rampaging seniors (of highschool, not like old people) i finally got my hands on them and 50 percent of them are horrifying. my yearbook one reminds me of a dumb watermelon head with a big nose and dumb hair. and i can't even think about the ones in that fake library with my lame hat and scroll that i'm probably not going to even recieve. some are good, but most are bad. i'm slightly disapointed. whatevs. it happens.

tonight is survivor and i'm hoping my survivor pool pick doesn't get eliminated because then i would be out of the competition of winning a sweet shirt that says "Survivor Pool Champion Fall 2008". I've never won before. I probably never will. ARGH! one day, i'll rig it so i can get my hands on the fucking shirt.

i've got nothing really else to say today. rachel got her phone taken away so i haven't talked to her all day which is making me uneasy since i've talked to her everyday for 2 months....err. 

oh, i also went and saw a movie today for the first time in months! it was How to lose friends and alienate people, something that i'm very good at. it was really funny and was full of transexuals and brits. 

i've also come up (well actually xtal did) with another genius way to get myself into another club! it's fool proof! i can't post it on the blog though, i dont know who reads it. MUAHAH! success is mine! 

i hope everyone is living a great parkerlyfe, i know mine's not to shabs. 

RELIVE YOUR PARKERLYFE

it's time to start reliving the parkerlyfe. it's been far too long. i feel lost without blogging, like a cat without it's whiskers running into things and just failing everything. it's good to be back to whine and complain about my lyfe. yup, you've definitely missed out on plenty of things in my lyfe the past 2 weeks that this blog has been lifeless, but i'll try and give you a brief review of 2 important things.

-i went to prince george it was great me and rachel are great! 

-i didn't get the lead in the musical, in fact, i'm just Teen Boy #5. yayyy....

the rest of that 2 weeks was pretty much just filled with me sitting there on the couch looking at my math textbook but not doing any thing, going on facebook, text messaging, eating insane amounts of Piroline Rolled Wafers and Noodle Time, drawing useless pictures and throwing them away, an listening to some new songs. 

yupp, it's a good life.

today i ran N Grub, the school store that i'm forced to run thanks to me taking Marketing class. it's very hectic. i thought running a store for the school would be good old fun but not when it's being run out of a janitors closet and you can't use a microwave and toaster at the same time without losing all power. my school needs serious welfare. so i'm left sitting in the dark re-heating pizza pops for grade 8's who can only afford food for toonies. another interesting thing that happened today was me getting my math test back. i got a whopping 36% just proving how much of a genius i really am. Harvard! Yale! they are all fighting for who gets me. 

i wish.

it's more like i'm fighting to get into Sprott Shaw Community College (since 1903) to make a living and possibly work at the dollar store until i'm 71 and everyone will know me as the sad old man that works at dollarama. it's all because of this one math test. i'm a winner!

my friend got an apartement downtown which i'm thrilled about, now i have a place to stay and i dont have to leave downtown before one to catch the skytrain home! my lyfe is just beginning! yes yes yes! Stone Temps here i come!!! oh wait, i forgot my id got taken away from me so i guess i'm gunna have to be satisfied with Famous Players for now. only a few more days/years until i'm 19! 

on Oct. 6, it was my 6 month urban anniversary! yay! half a year at that joint! i didn't think i'd last more than a month with all those intimidating trendy hipsters. cool! unfortunatley for all my Urban workmates/dedicated parkerlyfe readers, my future at Urbie is dark. being teen boy number five requires lots of practice, apparently, and the schedule is really un-reliable. i dont want to have to keep r/oing shit and asking for shift covers and calling in management is just gunna hate me even more. i'm really sad about thinking about this because i'm not done leaving my mark on Urban. i wish i had a solution! give me a solution! SOMEBODY COMMENT ME A SOLUTION! ugh. 

some big news, naomi is returning soon! yes! delaney and kayla are getting married on the 25th! exciting underage weddings, i love them. 

and as you may know i'm devestated about jen kenny's news of the month. ugh.

anyways, i promise that i'll be keeping up with my blog more now. i don't know why i stopped.

RELIVE PARKERLYFE EVERYONE AND YOU WILL LIVE FOREVER! 

who knew?

k guys sorry i haven't updated the parkerlyfe for along time. so much has happened this week i'm not even going to go through the effort of trying to remember it all. i'll just start with the last few days. if you didn't know already, i'm going to prince george to visit rachel in 6 days! i can't wait! ah i'm so excited. 

today was raining and that was omega lame. i stayed in my bed writing fake tv shows about my life and deciding who would play all my friends. i really need a life badly. the cupboards in my kitchen got installed today too. not like you care. 

i auditioned for the school musical and guess what, it went really well. i never thought i had any talent at all but apparently i can belt out a song pretty well. who knew, seriously. i hope i get the lead, haha, wishful thinking for the amateur. the audition i had to act, sing and learn a little jazzy dance and do it. lol i'm just thinking about how lame i am and laughing. i'll keep you posted on the musical bizz, it'll probably be a theme of my blog for the coming months. if i get into the musical, i'll be excited but at the same time i don't know how it will affect work. i might have to leave and come back in march, because i would love to stay but i dont want to piss Urbz off my being available like 2 days a week. still, it's all to be decided in the future so whatevers. last weekend was so much fun even though i went to the dingiest place ever i had so so so so so much fun! britney was playing all night for once, she never plays at parties that i go too. what a drag. i should have a britney spears party. 

yesterday somebody jumped in front of the skytrain at granville and blew up all over the platform and probably got all over everyone's favorite jackets. maybe i'm exagerating a little bit but that's what i do best. anyways, the point is i had to walk to stadium station yesterday and i was not happy at all. i was a mad baby. 

hmm what's new at school...math 12 is raping me, accounting is soo boring and marketing is pretty much the same thing everyday. i'm really thinking about how i'm going to get my physical hours to graduate cause i'm not on a sports team or shit like that. maybe i'll join a swim team. or a lawn bowling class. or i really want to take some sort of self defense judo shit so i can break people's arms in 1 movement. yes!!!.......

a homeless man yesterday told me he needed 40 cents because he was pregnant. it was nice. 

october is coming around the corner and so much stuff is gon happen. damn. Delaney (my 19 year old friend) is getting married to Kayla. it's going to be quite the wedding. 

i've got to give a shout today to Hayley Rooney. she is the best. i miss her alot! urban outfitters isn't the same without that aussie. *sigh* urban outfitters isn't the same without a lot of people.

gr.

bye. 

what says 1000 words.

grad pictures! oh lord, they are in a few hours i actually have to time to blog i just got out of the shower. oooooooh. 

a few things to say, quickly. i'm really excited naomi petryk is moving back into town! YES! YES YES YES! my life has been kind of incomplete without her since moving in may. gosh. that's exciting. 

i got my biggest issue resolved the other day. if you know me you'll know what that is. 

i'm going to prince george in 13 days to see Rachel and i'm unbelievably excited even though i never thought i'd be excited to ever go to prince george...but hey! ooh i can't wait. 

i'm auditioning for the musical. lame. but still, why not? 

i'm really stressed that the grad cap is not going to fit my enormous head. oh god. 

yesterday was slightly nightmarish at work. you probably already heard the story of my mom calling in and complaining about me having to do a perfect close. if that's not embarassing i really don't know what is. why doesn't someone just plaster nudes of me all around the school?! on second, thought i could get kind of famous for that. hmmmmm.

school was curb stomping me this week but i think i'm starting to get it together kind of nicely. let's see how long this can continue for before i quit school. high school drop out. that's me.

hope you love the new layout. 

just like highschool.

summer is over. IT'S OVER! i officially will never get a summer vacation ever again. oh god. i'm getting old. reality is starting to kick into my life like i never thought it would. i have to apply for post secondary. i have to think of what to put in my grad write up. i have to finish my grad transition plan. oh lord this year is going to be stressful...i can already tell.
so i know i've had no time to blog because i never get a milisecond to myself. i'm either at school slaving or at work hustling. either way, not blog time or parker time.
so as i've mentionned i'm back in the highschool and hating it. i'm in math 12 and getting ready to be put in hell it's like the hardest course in highschool apparently. marketing is the shit because thats actually what i'm going to do after this show is over. accounting is annoying, mostly because i'm in the grade 11 class because i was too stupid to take it last year. oh well, i still kinda feel large and in charge. even though i shouldn't because i'm the odd one out. LAME.
nothing else to special happened this week expect being scared by a crazy bush dweller walking up from sapperton station. i was walking up the hill and i walked right by some guy hiding in the bushes i almost pooed myself.
oh and the best thing that happened this week would probably be the sapperton overpass opened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no lame stairs! you would have to see it to understand how happy i am.
the rents come back tomorrow. i didn't even do anything interesting while they were gone. what a waste.
in a few weeks i'm going to prince george i dont know exactly when but hopefully i'll get the time off work or else...well who knows what.
i'm listening to that song i'm yours by jason mrazz or however you spell it. reminds me of someone. :D
grad pics coming up as soon as i get them everyone will see them all around the world. i hope they are controversial like miley cyrus' nude pics or the first pics of britney's vag.

parkerlyfe readers, i love you all.

just asking.

who else is bored of the layout? 

yeah me too. 

the hottest thing i've ever seen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO6LHtBdjIw

please watch this. 

dedicated to galgore

how to live...when you're parents are away.

ok it's 11.35 i just got back from fantacity. i'm so effing hungry it's ridiculous. k my chicken just beeped and it's out of the microwave i'm gunna grab it and then come back i've got lots to talk about today.

ok i'm back. i'm eating delicious chicken and i made it myself because my parents are gone gone gone to palm springs. yah hoo. so anyways, i'm going back to school on tusesyda so i thought this weekend owuld be a good one to party. even though i'm not going to i'm just going to say that. 

um, today i went to fantacity with some poeps and it was pretty fun times. i felt a little awkward i was like youngest one there ut oh well. i sanga few songs but that's not worth talking to. it was actually to say goodbye to Kyle, the manager that pretty much told me i was hired. actually melissa did but oh well kyle is the best and it's lame that he's leaving. SHOUTS TO KYLE! CHEERIO! 

also, i would like to give a shout to Xiomara, i love her sooooo much i'm depressed that she's leaving she helps me find everything when i'm running now i'm just going to be an utter failure when i'm told to run. hiss.

i'm probalby going to cry. but probably not.

today i also hang out with marquee onstine she is fun and asian. we had sushi mmm. thats about it. 

having no parents is soooo fun. i just walk around naked and eat whatever i want and drink milk out of the carton. and just sit on the comp and do whatever the hell i want it makes me want to move out. 

i'm really scatterbrained right now i thin kthe ADD is kicking in cause it's late. 

um um um um um um um um um 

oh my grandma came over and she's like "you better not be having another party" referring to last time my parents went away and i had a big party which ended in tragedy, travesty and disaster. regrets regrets. 

and the saddest thing in the world happened today and i'm being completely serious. 

juanita trejo aka granny passed away and i am absolutely devastated. devastated. i loved her like my own granny and i'm happy she is out of her pain and i know one day i'll see her again. all my love goes to the Trejo family i'm so so so so so sad i'm actually gunna cry because she made me the best tamales ever. omg now i'm all sad. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( <3>

so now that i'm depressed i'm leaving this lyfe. this parkerlyfe business. i think you will see some big changes from me come september. it's gunnna be out of this world.

and i was just thinking in my sadness how badly and i mean REALLY BADLY that it's frusterating that i miss rachel and that i think about her everday so shouts and potato love to her <3>

fuck that haterz. peace out parkerlyfe readers 

tits

i have no idea what to talk about today. absolutley none.

hmm i guess i'll let you know i bought shit from UO today. yay.

i saw the house bunny. yay.

i hung out with Caela, who i havent see forever! big yay!

Danielle S. comes back from scotland on wednesday!!!!!!! YES! YES!

who cares, you don't know those people anyway.

and if you haven't heard yet i'm not available anymore. sorry ladies :P

today was a fun filled emotion driven day at work. just alot of lust and alot of hate and anger. a big store filled with raging emotions emitting from all the young people. young, meaning me.

i'm deeply saddened by my fathers decision to cancel his prince george trip that was supposed to take place tomorrow. i'm relalllyy bummed about not being able to go see Rachel it's already been one week since she left and it's like the worst week evs!!!!! UGH

i'm also saddened by the fact that like 10 people have quit urban outfitters and by 10 people i mean 10 sweet people! wtf!!!!!! who even works there now like nobody! hisss.

at least galgore and jen kennifer are there. and michelle i know you read this so SHOUTS! WEO!

school in one week....what do i think about that. i dont know. i really hope i'm best dressed. doubtful. it'll probably be someone who wears american eagle but does drugs so he's cool so everyone will vote from him, so they can get their hands on some discounted crack. gr.

i'm thinking trying to be part of Disney and end up like britney spears, or the jonas brothers. then i can make some crazy cheds, unlike at UO.

what else do i have to say...oh yeah my parents are going away for palm springs YES!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't wait! no rules weoo!

have a good sleep earth and all you parkerlyfe readrs.

crust in my eyes

i just woke up and i feel pretty good. i've been so happy this week! i even like to wake up! which is completely abnormal. i wish i could wear pajamas to work i'm so comfortable but apparently pajamas do not reflect urban outfitters latest styles and trends. pft.

guess what i did last night! i cleaned my room, helped install cabinets, texted my heart out, watched Born to Be Miley Cyrus and Spotlight Finger Eleven on Much Music. probably the best night of my summer. ya right.

i work at 12. and then at 6 i'm going to see jack johnson! i'm excited but i'm not like freaking out excited. i mean, whenever i go see concerts i usually like to see some huge star that you see pictures of everyday and her stories about. jack johnson, you don't really hear anything but his music. so the excitement of him walking on the stage and being like "OMG HE LOOKS SO DIFFERENT IN REAL LIFE" is going to be gone. now, if it was Britney Spears on the other hand. 

for dinner last night i ate a wheel of brie. the kitchen really takes its toll on my appetite. i had my N test today, but i cancelled it and payed 25 dollars. since my last test July 7th that i missed like a f-face, i haven't driven since. i feel like i might have lost my talent so i'm postponing it so i can maybe actually know how to drive when i take it and not feel like a fool when i fail. 

just alot of love

Here's some extreme pics from the wedding that i was bitching and raving about this whole time. if you hate love it'll be boring. 

in better news

now that i'm done complaining it's time for some better news. 

hmm what really is good. i guess i didn't notice all the new stuff at the store which there is alot of and i'm going to buy it all. hopefully i can whip up a few grand for back to school shopping.

back to school......i have mixed feelings about this. i like going back because the first week is so chill and you get to wear all your new clothes and show off your new shit but then third week you're like damn 10 months of this. 

i've also been thinking about some more exciting things that happen when you're in grade 12 like grad photos which is going to be cool. i've always wondered what mine were going to look like. grad survey. i hope i get something. i probably wont. best dressed would be sweet. or most likely to get famous, if that one even existed. they could make it for me. 

oh, since the last photoshoot back in june, i guess all the vancity photographers saw the pics and this other photographer grahem wants me to be a part of his next photoshoot! yippee!! i'm kinda doubting it's gunna happen but you know. it's still pretty cool.

september is almost here and it's time for me to decide what show's i'm going to watch. obviously Survivor, cause it's the best. SEASON 17! wow. i'm definitely gunna watch 90210, just cause i've missed a lame teen soap all year since the cancelation of the oc. gossip girl is lame. so is one tree lame. hopefully i can watch Heroes, cause it's sweet. i think i'm too far behind with Lost. you could say i am LOST! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

not even funny.

i'm super tired. i feel like i haven't slept in such a long time i'm gunna turn into Gollum from lord of the rings all grey and sleep deprived. tomorrow is Jack Johnson, i'm pretty stoked. i get off work at 6 because apparently absolutely not one person at urban could cover it, which is really disapointing. but i'll live. 

damnit you know what i hate, distance. i wish the world was just one big city and everyone lived like within 10 minutes of eachother. or i wish we could walk really fast and get to other countries in like half and hour. that's what i wish. i wish Prince George replaced Burnaby so i could skytrain there. screw you, distance. 

complaining ahead. sorry!

dear customers of urban outfitters

if any of you are reading this pllllease let me know sometime down the road why it is that you love to shop in a store that looks like the devil's asshole. all us urban people work pretty hard to make it look nice and you seem to just be all like "oh whatevs lets take all the sale shit off the racks and look through it and throw it on the floor. that way NEXT time we come back it'll be so much easier to find our shit!" you are all very intelligent. 

why do people walk around the store mindlessly messing up piles!!!!!!!! i don't get it. yesterday, i saw a man walking around the whole time he was on the mens floor stroking the t-shirt pile from the bottom one to the top one and flinging them all over the table. HISS! 

please stop before suicides occur! 

complaining over. 

some funny shit that's not supposed to be funny

yesterday, i told andrea something that she thought was outrageously funny so she laughed for a good 2 minutes straight. at the skytrain station, she was still laughing and some random took notice and told her

"someone's having a laughing fit!"

she kept laughing because this was kinda random.

"you know what to do if you can't stop laughing? just think of a grandma falling down a flight of stairs!"

the rest is history.

i <3 bridesmaids

i just ate took a bite of the most disgusting apple and i spat it all over the keyboard. it tasted like hamster shit. 

anyways, some things have happened. last time i posted i don't remember what i was talking about but now i can tell you the big wedding that has been posted about forever is OVER! it's happened! it's done. and it was amazing. i got to wear a fancy little flower because i was a groomsman which was fun, but what wasn't fun was the fact that the wedding was outside and it was like 30 degrees yesterday. i got to stand in my 3 piece suit the entire wedding and got to feel 10 pounds of sweat drip down my body and legs and face. i've never been so wet other than in the shower, pool. i didn't mess up though, thankfully. 

the pictures took 2.5 hours and they were lots of fun (minus the heat of course). they were taken in Fort Langley and for one of the shots we stopped traffic. literally because it was in the middle of the road. 

the reception followed which was fun i've never been at the head table or gotten to eat first or gotten so many pictures taken of me. i really did feel like my celebrity status was rising. for the night. i reallllllllly wish i could give more details about my night but this is a public blog. :( just ask though my friends!

so sunday was the gift opening which was fun to be with all the people from last night. most of the gifts were plates, wine glasses, a vacuum, blankets...you know, house stuff. for my gift i think i'll get a spice rack. :S or maybe a sex position book. or a bondage beginner kit. everything newlyweds need. 

then i skytrained pretty much the whole track from King George in slurrey to granville and thought i was going to be late for my first day back in like 11 days. i thought i might forget stuff but i didn't. Urban Outfitters is in my blood. work was fun i suppose poor Alex G had his last day. ALL YOU QUITTERS! :( sad times. 

i work at 6 today. i've got time to killz.

i already miss rachel. 

the latest

hello everyone i'm home now! tofino was amazing. AMAZING! i had so much fun. it was a windy road to get there and i almost hurled but when i actually was there it was tons'o'fun. we stayed in a huge cabin that was pretty much made of glass. i really liked this idea at first but then i started having flashbacks of how scared i was in The Strangers and i kept having random visions of masked people staring at me through the forest. ughhgh. other than this, i realized i'm not to shabby of a surfer. i got up on so many waves, got hit in the face by a board 5 times. 5 TIMES! at least i didn't bite a whole in my lip another guy i was with. 

so now i'm home with memories, bruises, a major farmers burn, and frusteration. i forget what it was like to live in my house. from glass cabin eating huge dinners every night to a home pretty much made of dust and scrambling not to get hit by ply wood to get food. home sweet home.

tomorrow's the big day, not for me, for Seth and Sarah. i'm nervous and excited and who knows. my suit got drycleaned. YA!

back to work on sunday. i hope i didn't forget how to fold clothes. 

just sayin

i did finally see pineapple express yesterday and it was hilarious!!!!!!!!!!

go see it! i love judd apatow movies they are all my favorite. just so you know. 

if you do catch the film, the beginning of the movie features this guy in the picture. 

and just so you know he did come into urban outfitters while i was working and he bought argyle socks. not that i was creeping or anything.

jen kenny and alyssa know what i'm talking about. 

and no i didn't talk to him i'm not that creepy. 

what do you say...

i've been slacking alot because of this wedding. not my wedding. 

seth and sarah's wedding is in a week i'm freaking out. i have no idea what to say in my speach. does anyone have any ideas??? what do you say in a speach at a wedding. it's all kind of new for me. 

suprise!

surprise! i said i was going to be away for 11 days, and technically i am. but today i decided to come home for 2 days just because why not. 

birch bay was fun. it felt so good to just sit there in the sun and not think or move or make any choices. so great. i wish i could get paid and make a living off doing that. maybe one day in a perfect world. anyways, this did something for my paper skin which i'm proud of. not more transparency. it was all good family fun but i thought a weekend would be better spent with friends in vancouver and my parents can have the cabin to themselves to do whatteeever they want. 

...

i just checked the showtimes for pineapple express and i pretty much missed them all. the next ones in 20 minutes. DAMN!

tofino should be fun hopefully i don't die surfing or get hypothermia. then again i shouldn't worry about those ways of dying. i could die ANYWHERE! i just thought about that. think about it.

-i could be on a greyhound?

-i could be at the Majestic (i wish) getting hammered. literally!!!!!!

-i could be attacked by a bear looking for food in my house.

-i could be locked in a dungeon by my parents and raped for 20 years?

there are so many unbelievable stories that are happening this year. maybe i'm next. i really hope when i die that it was really over the top and then everyone hears about it and i get kinda famous. and i get R.I.P Parker McMullin facebook groups. please do that for me. 

the search for an F.I.D. is still on. it's really beginning to take it's tole i'm getting all stressed and aggressive over it. i'm going to go to desperate measures if this problem doesn't get resolved and i mean FAST! someone help me! 

so i'm going to do something and make the most of a friday night. not blog all night. 

bye