parker pulls a britney

since i'm having a mental breakdown as i walk, breath and type i thought it would be only necessary to do it britney style. so, today i had a huge meltodown in the overpass, thrashed lockers with an umbrella, swore and cried as a ripped off my hair and threw it all over the brown kids and LG's.

at least that's how it went in the daydream while i was getting a pretty regular haircut. fuck. i wish my life was more interesting.
in reality, my hair is much shorter and all references to being Zac Efron can be banished, i hope.

i tried to be on a diet this week after letting myself go in kelowna on the weekend. i gorged on cupcakes and chips and reese peanut butter cups until my fat seaped over the belt. that's when i decided a diet was in order, until that plan was immediatley tarnished at the sight of a mid week turkey dinner. i should just start smoking really, or bulimia is an option. I WILL NOT SUCCUMB TO OVERWEIGHTISMS that curses my family.

for all the readers from UO, it's official. i am back at urban outfitters beginning April 26th. it's kind of a huge deal, you might need to take a nap before your shifts that day. parkerlyfe 2.0 is coming back. dealWITHIT!

okay, that's good enough. maybe i should just get twitter so my life was drift even more far away from privacy. all or nothing right? i just need to be famous.